I just saw three boy ducks gang banging a girl duck in a park. Several people had stopped walking and were watching. It reminded me of the final scene from Last Exit To Brooklyn or The Accused...
Only I don't think a duck can get in trouble for R-ing another duck.
If only I had a better camera on my phone.
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
Monday, April 6, 2009
Sunday, April 5, 2009
Shit the bed
Friday - beers on the roof of the Epitaph office. The weather was super nice and the office manager was leaving, so we hung out there for a while. I left work early to go and see Rise And Fall play in Tilburg... Shit fell apart. Long story short (not like me is it...) I didn't end up going. Major bummer. Might go and see them play at the end of the month in Germany.
I got drunk last night and went to a bar called New Anita. There was a magazine launch party there and my friend Anders from work had his art featured in the magazine and on the cover. I got drunk. Amongst other things, I drank a pina colada. It was disgusting. Too milky. I went with Niels and a couple of his mates to a bar up the road from Gijs and Santina's place. It used to be a squat, but now it is kind of on the level. It was pretty fucking rad. You have to walk through a residential court yard to get to the entrance, then it is kind of like two warehouses joined together and a few other rooms. Got more drunk. They let children into bars and clubs over here. There were 16 year olds hanging around drinking. Weird. Sent drunk texts and walked home.
Find out about some possible tour work tomorrow. Not holding my breath though. Why did I never learn to play the guitar? I guess I could learn...
Yesterday I spoke to my Swedish friend Ylva. She stayed with us for just under a year when I was in year 12 and my sister was in Japan. An exchange if you will. An exchange of students. She was our Swedish exchange student. I might go hang with her this Summer in Norrkoping. I went there in Winter 2006 but she says Summer in the countryside where she grew up is great.
Fuck I want some bagels right now.
Here's a couple of nice photos I took years ago. These two ended up getting married. I think they're both pretty fucking cool (people). (The photos go alright as well).
I got drunk last night and went to a bar called New Anita. There was a magazine launch party there and my friend Anders from work had his art featured in the magazine and on the cover. I got drunk. Amongst other things, I drank a pina colada. It was disgusting. Too milky. I went with Niels and a couple of his mates to a bar up the road from Gijs and Santina's place. It used to be a squat, but now it is kind of on the level. It was pretty fucking rad. You have to walk through a residential court yard to get to the entrance, then it is kind of like two warehouses joined together and a few other rooms. Got more drunk. They let children into bars and clubs over here. There were 16 year olds hanging around drinking. Weird. Sent drunk texts and walked home.
Find out about some possible tour work tomorrow. Not holding my breath though. Why did I never learn to play the guitar? I guess I could learn...
Yesterday I spoke to my Swedish friend Ylva. She stayed with us for just under a year when I was in year 12 and my sister was in Japan. An exchange if you will. An exchange of students. She was our Swedish exchange student. I might go hang with her this Summer in Norrkoping. I went there in Winter 2006 but she says Summer in the countryside where she grew up is great.
Fuck I want some bagels right now.
Here's a couple of nice photos I took years ago. These two ended up getting married. I think they're both pretty fucking cool (people). (The photos go alright as well).
Monday, March 30, 2009
WKND
Here are some things Santina said to me last night.
You're so stupid that you thought Fleetwood Mac was a new burger at McDonalds.
You're so fat that when you get in an elevator, it has to go down.
You're so poor that when I took your family portrait and said cheese, you went looking for it.
You're so stupid that you took a ruler to bed to see how long you slept.
You're so ugly that your birth certificate was an apology letter from the condom company.
The WKND was:
Friday night I did nothing. It was raining when I walked out of work so I just went home and drank beer. Saturday I slept in then watched a documentary My Life As A Terrorist, about a German dude who was a terrorist in the 70s and was on the run for 23 years. It wasn't as exciting as I had hoped it would be. Then I watched the Radiohead documentary Meeting People Is Easy and shaved my attempt at a moustache. That thing was fucking hideous. I am not going to try to grow another one until I have grey hair. At least grey hair looks noble and George Clooneyesque; He really is an important guy.
A lady on a bike got hit by a guy on a scooter out the front of Gijs and Santina's flat. She was on the ground crying, a crowd formed, helped her out, got her a chair from a cafe over the road, the police eventually came, then an ambulance... Then she got up and walked to the stretcher and went for a ride to the hospital.
Two things:
1. The cops and the ambulance took about 30 minutes to arrive. Lazy Dutch.
2. When the ambulance came, she just got up and walked to the stretcher. She walked. She was fine. Eerrrggghhh......
After I fixed my face I went to meet Santina after she finished work. I went around the corner to my new favourite sandwich cafe on Ree Straat and got the Cremonese on brown (salami, green olives, pesto, tomato and mozzarella - melted). Santina had to put some fliers for her DJ night into some record stores so we walked around for a while. We ended up at Independent Outlet (Amsterdam's version on Kill The Music) and I bought a couple of records. I got Murder City Devils 10" Thelma, and finally found the Lambchop LP Aw C'mon, No You C'mon. I always look for that record in stores, but have never seen it. I am too lazy to look on the net or to go on ebay. Anyway, bought those two and put a few back. I'm going to go in with Gijs and get him to recommend all the good Dutch shit they have.
Saturday night we jumped a train to Harlem with two of the guys from Gijs' band to go and watch Mono from Japan. We get to the show and it is sold out. Pretty fucking bummed. I missed Mono when they played in Brisbane, so I was really looking forward to seeing them. Also, after seeing Earth play last week as well, I was kind of in the mood for more of the same atmospheric shit. Alas, it wasn't meant to be. Gijs and I get a train back to Amsterdam. The other guys had bought their tickets weeks ago...smart guys. We go home and I drink a bottle of wine.
We then find out that friends of Gijs' The Real Danger are playing at the Winston. This saves our Saturday night from becoming a boring disappointment. These guys are super fucking rad. Similar to Face To Face and Descendents I guess. Listen to them here - http://www.myspace.com/therealdanger
Party for a while and then head home. The clocks wind forward an hour at 2am for Summer time... We get home and legally it is around 5am. Am I losing touch that I note the time when I get home from being out on the weekend? I need to get loose a bit more. I don't think I drink like I used to. I need to start kicking Europe in the face a bit more. That's what I'm in this for...
Sunday sleep in, walk into town, get some coffee, Santina ends up helping her friend out at the coffeeshop because it is so busy, Gijs and I go for a walk, I buy a Sunn 0))) LP Domkirke and Gijs buys some DVDs. I get an egg salad sandwich and an hour later have to run into a cafe and use their bathroom. Bung! Saw this awesome old guy floating around near a bridge with about 100 people watching him play. He had a wind-up organ on his boat and was playing a trumpet and whistling with his other hand. I wanted to throw some coins at him, but wasn't sure if he was busking or just an old dude chilling out cutting laps and playing music for tourists.
Best busker I've seen in Amsterdam.
I'm going to see Rise And Fall play this week, I think in Belgium? Super fucking stoked. Also found out that Tragedy are playing in Utrecht the night before I leave for Groezrock. Holy Daryl Sommers! I can't fucking wait.
Groezrock Festival is going to be awesome. Have a look at the line up here - http://groezrock.be/
I get to see The Get Up Kids. Do I dare call it early and say best show of 2009? We'll see...
Pause & photograph.
You're so stupid that you thought Fleetwood Mac was a new burger at McDonalds.
You're so fat that when you get in an elevator, it has to go down.
You're so poor that when I took your family portrait and said cheese, you went looking for it.
You're so stupid that you took a ruler to bed to see how long you slept.
You're so ugly that your birth certificate was an apology letter from the condom company.
The WKND was:
Friday night I did nothing. It was raining when I walked out of work so I just went home and drank beer. Saturday I slept in then watched a documentary My Life As A Terrorist, about a German dude who was a terrorist in the 70s and was on the run for 23 years. It wasn't as exciting as I had hoped it would be. Then I watched the Radiohead documentary Meeting People Is Easy and shaved my attempt at a moustache. That thing was fucking hideous. I am not going to try to grow another one until I have grey hair. At least grey hair looks noble and George Clooneyesque; He really is an important guy.
A lady on a bike got hit by a guy on a scooter out the front of Gijs and Santina's flat. She was on the ground crying, a crowd formed, helped her out, got her a chair from a cafe over the road, the police eventually came, then an ambulance... Then she got up and walked to the stretcher and went for a ride to the hospital.
Two things:
1. The cops and the ambulance took about 30 minutes to arrive. Lazy Dutch.
2. When the ambulance came, she just got up and walked to the stretcher. She walked. She was fine. Eerrrggghhh......
After I fixed my face I went to meet Santina after she finished work. I went around the corner to my new favourite sandwich cafe on Ree Straat and got the Cremonese on brown (salami, green olives, pesto, tomato and mozzarella - melted). Santina had to put some fliers for her DJ night into some record stores so we walked around for a while. We ended up at Independent Outlet (Amsterdam's version on Kill The Music) and I bought a couple of records. I got Murder City Devils 10" Thelma, and finally found the Lambchop LP Aw C'mon, No You C'mon. I always look for that record in stores, but have never seen it. I am too lazy to look on the net or to go on ebay. Anyway, bought those two and put a few back. I'm going to go in with Gijs and get him to recommend all the good Dutch shit they have.
Saturday night we jumped a train to Harlem with two of the guys from Gijs' band to go and watch Mono from Japan. We get to the show and it is sold out. Pretty fucking bummed. I missed Mono when they played in Brisbane, so I was really looking forward to seeing them. Also, after seeing Earth play last week as well, I was kind of in the mood for more of the same atmospheric shit. Alas, it wasn't meant to be. Gijs and I get a train back to Amsterdam. The other guys had bought their tickets weeks ago...smart guys. We go home and I drink a bottle of wine.
We then find out that friends of Gijs' The Real Danger are playing at the Winston. This saves our Saturday night from becoming a boring disappointment. These guys are super fucking rad. Similar to Face To Face and Descendents I guess. Listen to them here - http://www.myspace.com/therealdanger
Party for a while and then head home. The clocks wind forward an hour at 2am for Summer time... We get home and legally it is around 5am. Am I losing touch that I note the time when I get home from being out on the weekend? I need to get loose a bit more. I don't think I drink like I used to. I need to start kicking Europe in the face a bit more. That's what I'm in this for...
Sunday sleep in, walk into town, get some coffee, Santina ends up helping her friend out at the coffeeshop because it is so busy, Gijs and I go for a walk, I buy a Sunn 0))) LP Domkirke and Gijs buys some DVDs. I get an egg salad sandwich and an hour later have to run into a cafe and use their bathroom. Bung! Saw this awesome old guy floating around near a bridge with about 100 people watching him play. He had a wind-up organ on his boat and was playing a trumpet and whistling with his other hand. I wanted to throw some coins at him, but wasn't sure if he was busking or just an old dude chilling out cutting laps and playing music for tourists.
Best busker I've seen in Amsterdam.I'm going to see Rise And Fall play this week, I think in Belgium? Super fucking stoked. Also found out that Tragedy are playing in Utrecht the night before I leave for Groezrock. Holy Daryl Sommers! I can't fucking wait.
Groezrock Festival is going to be awesome. Have a look at the line up here - http://groezrock.be/
I get to see The Get Up Kids. Do I dare call it early and say best show of 2009? We'll see...
Pause & photograph.Saturday, March 28, 2009
Shave for a cure
I found a cure; my razor. I think the final straw for me was Alma calling it "yellow" yesterday at work. I didn't even last three weeks.
Until I become a grizzly old man who doesn't give a fuck, my face will stay clean shaven.
I'm going to watch Mono tonight. Fuck yes.
Friday, March 27, 2009
3 photos of me & one not of me
Master Crumble is back in stock at LIDL. You never know how often it will be on the shelves, so Gijs and I bought six boxes of that delicious shit.
My mustache is growing. Slowly. I made this photo black and white because it is truly disgusting in colour.
I had to delete a heap of shit from my laptop because it is running out of space. I found a photo of me from January 3rd 2006. What a babe.
Screenshot w/ subtitles. New hobby.Gijs and I went and saw Earth play last night at The Paradiso. They were brilliant. I definitely felt like a fucking hippie while they were playing. You could say I "lost" myself for the hour and a half that they played... You could say that, but it would sound totally gay. Let's just say they were fucking amazing.
After that we went home and watched Defiance - the Daniel Craig movie about WW2. This movie is complete horse shit. Do not waste your time. First Valkyrie, now this... I think I see a pattern emerging from Hollywood concerning WW2 movies with American actors attempting Eastern European accents.
After that we went home and watched Defiance - the Daniel Craig movie about WW2. This movie is complete horse shit. Do not waste your time. First Valkyrie, now this... I think I see a pattern emerging from Hollywood concerning WW2 movies with American actors attempting Eastern European accents.
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Two things
The 12 year old had a paternity test. He didn't know what a DNA test was, but he knew that they were checking if he was the daddy or not... He is not the father. Homegirl was laying 7 other dudes.
Bummer.
Also... Wow.
Bummer.
Also... Wow.
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Monday, March 23, 2009
...is ten minutes too far
My friend Abby came to Amsterdam for the weekend. She and Trad were together a few years back and we've been friends ever since. She lives in London now and works in fashion PR. She is a pretty fancy girl and is a lot of fun to hang out with. We used to catch up every now and then when I was living in London, so it was cool to be able to show her around some places here. She stayed with her friend Savvi who works for Nike Europe. Savvi grew up in Melbourne and has lived here for a while now. Her apartment is fucking amazing. Super fantastiche.
Abby
Two more of Abby's friends were in Amsterdam this weekend as well; Emily and Campbell. They are friends of Abby's who have been traveling Europe for the past year or so in a camper van. I'd met Emily years ago but I have a memory like a deflated football, so I didn't really remember her. She is Jesse's sister... That more than likely means nothing to almost everyone who is reading this. In saying that, if you are Leo, Carlos, Trad, Rea or anyone else from Noosa/Sunshine Coast, then you will be able to make all the necessary connections. Emily and Campbell are about to fly back to Australia via Sri Lanka. Rad.
Campbell & Emily
On Saturday the four of us went to the Noord Market (Noord is Dutch for...North), then the three of them went on a guided tour of the red light district and smoked some weed. I don't dig on grass and I have seen the red light district enough, so I went home and fell asleep listening to the new M. Ward record. I'm kicking myself in the face for not going to see M. Ward two weeks ago when I had the chance. Piss. Gijs and Santina came home from work and we cooked some food. I stayed home on Saturday night because I was tired from walking around all day and my cash is really starting to dwindle. I stayed up until 4am and finished the bottle of Jack that I bought duty free, then gave Trad a call. He wasn't easy like Sunday morning like Lionel Richie would have you believe. I woke the wookie.
Let sleepers lie
Princengracht
Jesus & Abby & I
Please rob us
Ummm.... You're white. You can't get a Rasta tattoo... Unless it is meant to be as ridiculous as my Tupac tattoo. I have a feeling she is serious though.
Window shopping
On Sunday we (Abby, Campbell, Emily, Gijs, Santina, Savvi and myself - fuck yes, that list is in alphabetical order - almost) went and had bagels and coffee, then went to the library near Central Station. The library is huge and is pretty magnificent piece of modern architecture. It has a restaurant on the top floor and pretty gnarly views of the city and part of the harbour. No photos this time, I left my camera at home.
Santina and Gijs and Patrick came and visited me at work on Friday. I went for a spin on Santina's bike. I'm going to try and get one this week I think.
Shit I've been getting down with:
Röyksopp - Junior
Only Pat will like this album. Everyone else who even bothers to heed my recommendation will think it is complete Euroswine. Even I'm not 100% convinced yet. We just sat through five of the eleven tracks. Santina wasn't really feeling it. Her favourite band is KISS though, so figure that one out.
Little Miss Sunshine
I watched ten minutes of this movie on the plane from Brisbane to Singapore, but then my TV fucked itself. I just watched the whole thing with Gijs and Santina and I think it is great. My favourite scene might be when the doctor tells the family that the grandpa has died, then says he will get the grief counsellor to come and talk to them about the remains... "LINDA!" Funny shit. Also, the contest is held in Redondo Beach... Morrissey... mmm.
Booker T & The MGs
Dude is a Soul & R'n'B legend from the 60s who is releasing his new album on ANTI. He played Amsterdam last week and I went along to the show with a few people from work. I think Booker T's most famous song is "Green Onions" - I guarantee you know it, just maybe didn't know who wrote it. Anyway, dude was super friendly and extremely intelligent. When I spoke to him, he really seemed to consider every word before he would say it. The guitarist who was playing with him is named Steve Cooder and wrote Sitting On The Dock Of The Bay. We had a good old chat about Guy Sebastian; Australia's favourite Idol. You might remember "our Guy" released a covers album in late 2007? It stormed the charts that Christmas. His voice being that of an angel, carried it on wings, straight off the shelves and into the CD collections of thousands of Australians. Well my mate Coods recorded it for Guy in Memphis or some shit. Anyway, fuck Guy Sebastian, watch Booker laying out some sweet organ work. Another side note, I bought a round of beers during the show which came to €9.20 and I paid with a €20 note. The barman gave me €30.80 in change. Super stoked.
Movie Stills w/ Sub-titles
Gijs and Santina always watch DVDs with the sub-titles on, either in English or Dutch. This results in some interesting screen shots.
Two final things:
1. I'm going to send some postcards soon. If you want one (with a personalised message from myself), then email/msn/aim/myspace/facebook/sms me your address.
2. I'm going to try and grow a mustachio like John Waters. Wish me luck.
AbbyTwo more of Abby's friends were in Amsterdam this weekend as well; Emily and Campbell. They are friends of Abby's who have been traveling Europe for the past year or so in a camper van. I'd met Emily years ago but I have a memory like a deflated football, so I didn't really remember her. She is Jesse's sister... That more than likely means nothing to almost everyone who is reading this. In saying that, if you are Leo, Carlos, Trad, Rea or anyone else from Noosa/Sunshine Coast, then you will be able to make all the necessary connections. Emily and Campbell are about to fly back to Australia via Sri Lanka. Rad.
Campbell & EmilyOn Saturday the four of us went to the Noord Market (Noord is Dutch for...North), then the three of them went on a guided tour of the red light district and smoked some weed. I don't dig on grass and I have seen the red light district enough, so I went home and fell asleep listening to the new M. Ward record. I'm kicking myself in the face for not going to see M. Ward two weeks ago when I had the chance. Piss. Gijs and Santina came home from work and we cooked some food. I stayed home on Saturday night because I was tired from walking around all day and my cash is really starting to dwindle. I stayed up until 4am and finished the bottle of Jack that I bought duty free, then gave Trad a call. He wasn't easy like Sunday morning like Lionel Richie would have you believe. I woke the wookie.
Let sleepers lie
Princengracht
Jesus & Abby & I
Please rob us
Ummm.... You're white. You can't get a Rasta tattoo... Unless it is meant to be as ridiculous as my Tupac tattoo. I have a feeling she is serious though.
Window shoppingOn Sunday we (Abby, Campbell, Emily, Gijs, Santina, Savvi and myself - fuck yes, that list is in alphabetical order - almost) went and had bagels and coffee, then went to the library near Central Station. The library is huge and is pretty magnificent piece of modern architecture. It has a restaurant on the top floor and pretty gnarly views of the city and part of the harbour. No photos this time, I left my camera at home.
Santina and Gijs and Patrick came and visited me at work on Friday. I went for a spin on Santina's bike. I'm going to try and get one this week I think.
Shit I've been getting down with:
Röyksopp - Junior
Only Pat will like this album. Everyone else who even bothers to heed my recommendation will think it is complete Euroswine. Even I'm not 100% convinced yet. We just sat through five of the eleven tracks. Santina wasn't really feeling it. Her favourite band is KISS though, so figure that one out.
Little Miss Sunshine
I watched ten minutes of this movie on the plane from Brisbane to Singapore, but then my TV fucked itself. I just watched the whole thing with Gijs and Santina and I think it is great. My favourite scene might be when the doctor tells the family that the grandpa has died, then says he will get the grief counsellor to come and talk to them about the remains... "LINDA!" Funny shit. Also, the contest is held in Redondo Beach... Morrissey... mmm.
Booker T & The MGs
Dude is a Soul & R'n'B legend from the 60s who is releasing his new album on ANTI. He played Amsterdam last week and I went along to the show with a few people from work. I think Booker T's most famous song is "Green Onions" - I guarantee you know it, just maybe didn't know who wrote it. Anyway, dude was super friendly and extremely intelligent. When I spoke to him, he really seemed to consider every word before he would say it. The guitarist who was playing with him is named Steve Cooder and wrote Sitting On The Dock Of The Bay. We had a good old chat about Guy Sebastian; Australia's favourite Idol. You might remember "our Guy" released a covers album in late 2007? It stormed the charts that Christmas. His voice being that of an angel, carried it on wings, straight off the shelves and into the CD collections of thousands of Australians. Well my mate Coods recorded it for Guy in Memphis or some shit. Anyway, fuck Guy Sebastian, watch Booker laying out some sweet organ work. Another side note, I bought a round of beers during the show which came to €9.20 and I paid with a €20 note. The barman gave me €30.80 in change. Super stoked.
Movie Stills w/ Sub-titles
Gijs and Santina always watch DVDs with the sub-titles on, either in English or Dutch. This results in some interesting screen shots.
Two final things:
1. I'm going to send some postcards soon. If you want one (with a personalised message from myself), then email/msn/aim/myspace/facebook/sms me your address.
2. I'm going to try and grow a mustachio like John Waters. Wish me luck.
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